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Horoscope August 2015

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19 You know those 8 spiders a year you eat in your sleep? Well they all add up you know. And now they are planning an escape sometime around 13th. This isn’t going to end ...

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Horoscope July 2015

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19 This month your lucky name is Grahame. You should try and get a pork off anyone called this wherever possible. Be sure not to confuse Grahame with the name Graham, as hes a right ...

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Horoscope June 2015

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19 Remember, paedophiles are around every corner. Particularly on 2nd of the month. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 This month, you’ll start casually stealing sweets from petrol stations as a result of suppressed rage ...

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Horoscope April 2015

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19 Mars is in the second house which means you should start looking ways to sprout tentacles from your eyeballs. Do not chew up watermelons and spit the seeds at ducks. This will lower your ...

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