Well hello girls and boys and boys who look like girls and girls who look like boys!
Welcome back to my problem page, where with my wealth of life experience I help you all out with my advice. So here goes for this month’s questions…
Hello Miss Pussy,
I need your help. I’m in love with a person who is already in a relationship. I cannot help who I fall in love with. I don’t think that this person knows but it’s tearing me apart. What should I do?
Anon, Manc xx
This one’s really simple. Do nothing you dick! If they’re in a relationship already, then leave the fuck alone! If they decide they don’t want to be in a relationship with their current partner any more, then fair enough. But being interested in someone else’s partner is ridiculous! You’re lucky I even replied to you. Now fuck off.
I need your help. For a little while now I’ve been visiting sauna’s looking for sex, but I now realise I always leave feeling empty and wishing I had never gone in the first place. I think it’s because I am so body conscious and worry about what people think. Do you have any suggestions that might help?
Well, if you’re body conscious then don’t walk around in an environment where you can only wear a towel. If you’re fat go on a diet and if you’re skinny eat more. But more importantly the real message is, don’t give a fuck what anybody else thinks. It’s a sauna, and people are there to suck and fuck anything. It’s not a date and you’ll never find ‘the one’ there either. Take it for what it is, which is empty meaningless sex with a stranger in a shitty old building?
Hope this helps love.
How’s it going? Loved your article last month btw, I thought it was a great read. My problem is that I don’t have a lot of luck on Grindr. I very rarely get meets, and I can’t remember the last time I went on a date. Am I doing something wrong?
Ben, Manchester xx
Yes I can tell you what you’re doing wrong! You’re using apps in the hope of meeting people. You’re part of a generation where if there is something you don’t like you can simply ‘block’ it. That power in the hands of gays is lethal! So my advice would be, don’t have the apps in the first place, and actually go out to meet people in a bar or something! Talk to them and give things a chance to decide if you like each other enough to do a date and find out more.
On an app, a gay man will block or ignore you based on your age or your looks and ask for pictures of your body parts. When I was younger you found out what someone’s cock was like once you actually got them in the sack. So Ben, do things differently and ditch the apps they will turn you into a prissy vile picky offensive moron!
I hope this advice truly sinks in and helps?
I’ve noticed you have the odd tattoo, and I’m thinking of getting one of my bloke’s name on my tummy. Is that an area that really hurts? And I know what you’re gonna say about getting names on your body, but we have been together for 2 years now, so it feels right!
Anthony, Wilmslow xx
Yup you guessed what my advice would be correctly! Why the fuck would you get your partners name on your tummy after 2 years? 2 years! I’ve got jars of fucking jam in my cupboard older than that! Get tats by all means but not a bloody name. How original! I designed all mine myself, and yes the tummy REALLY hurts, but then it hurts wherever you get a tattoo if I’m honest. So please reconsider your bloke’s name, because (A) it’s tacky as shit and (B) it’s a fucking stupid idea.
I pray you listen
I have a very serious problem and I’m not really sure how to deal with it. I was straightening my hair in the back of a well known fast food outlet in Manchester recently, and I think I may have left the Straighteners on. I used to do deliveries for them and my hair got frizzy, but that’s a whole different story. So what should I do about the situation anyway? Please help
Coco Pop, Manchester xx
To be honest I would keep it to yourself love I doubt anyone will have noticed. And let’s be honest, it wasn’t straighteners was it? You were charging your dildo up again weren’t you.
I hope this helps.