Well hello girls and boys and boys who look like girls and girls that look like boys! Welcome back to my problem page, where with my wealth of experience I intend to help you out with my advice, so here goes for this month’s problems down in the villarge…
Hi Miss Thunderpants,
I’ve been experimenting with sexual things I like recently but one thing I have been drawn too is inserting root vegetables inside myself. Now I understand this could be a bit dangerous, but I can’t help it they just feel so good! Do you have any advice for me as I’m a little worried that it’s got out of hand!
Chris Salford x
There is nothing wrong with experimenting sexually, I’ve done it a lot which is one reason that I’m not allowed within 600ft of a petting zoo these days. Vegetables are the most natural thing to use in sex but make sure they are organic, the last thing you want is chemical burn? Firstly if it’s getting out of hand use a rubber glove to grip it properly and secondly remember it’s one of your five a day!
Hope this helps xxx Pussy.
How’s it going?
I’m a young lesbian that has a habit of going out at the weekend and drinking more than my body can take and I turn into something you may describe as a bit of a cunt. I am loud rude, have very little respect for anyone and tend to either be in people’s faces, or wanting to start a fight because I’m a bit of a drama queen who needs attention from everyone around me. My idea of a good night is get wankered, create shit and generally be a bit of a nuisance! Do you have any advice for me that would help me be easier to be around?
Kat Salford x
Well if I’m being honest here there are a couple of options you have and I’m afraid I need to be a little blunt! First option is either grow the fuck up and realise you’re not the only person on a night out, and realise the world doesn’t revolve around your shit? Or the other option is to go to your nearest vets and ask to be put down as I think you maybe a bit of an oxygen thief.
I hope this helps.
Hello Miss Thunderpussy,
I’m at a certain age now where I don’t feel comfortable meeting men in bars in case of rejection as I feel the gay scene is a bit ageist. The phone apps aren’t any better either to be honest. I just get bullied or blocked by people rather than them getting to know me. There is life in the old dog yet and I still want to be sexually active. What’s your advice, what with you being an older woman yourself?
Ray Manchester x
Well firstly I am only 24 so not quite sure where you got your information from?
Secondly forget the apps they are for children who never wanna meet just see pics of your cock then block you. What you need is a rent boy! Somebody you can pay for sex, not one that is a straight confused crack head but a good old fashioned slut that loves cock of any type and loves money even more! It won’t be anything serious but for £80 you will get to spend an hour with a young hung nubile teen that won’t give a shit about your saggy arse or limp cock! He’s being paid and you’re also supporting the local gay economy!
Hope this helps